What can you learn from “Romeo and Juliet”?
In the world of statement analysts where study is a passion, there is a depth few mine though at the top of the profession, the understanding is good. There, with the solid understanding of human nature they not only understand the words (‘what’ before ‘why’ during analysis ) but appropriately predict the behavior and words in which the behavior is illuminated. This is a meeting between the analysis of the statement, the behavior, and the psychology behind both.
For those who love truth, time only increases the disinterest I narrative lest the narrative be improved upon by truth.
Thou know’st the mask of night is on my face,
Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek
For that which thou hast heard me speak to-night
Fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny
What I have spoke: but farewell compliment!
Dost thou love me?
Here is the question she asks and needs to know: “Do you love me?”
She does not want a “yes or no” answer. This is the easiest of questions to lie to:
She knows that this answer is to come, and is easy. She will believe it, “yet”, which is similar to “but”, as she compares this acceptance of the answer “yes” in olde English, with something much stronger.
And I will take thy word: yet if thou swear’st,
Thou mayst prove false; at lovers’ perjuries
She (or Shakespeare!) is aware that a vow offered by the subject may also be unreliable as its need to persuade, given the context, will weaken the assertion and not give the comfort to her cry of “wherefore art thou?”, within the her heart.
What does she want?
1. A yes or no answer is too easily to deceive;
2. A vow here, in an unofficial setting, may be weak as it shows too much of a need to persuade; Yet if it must be a vow, he, himself, must be the center of the vow. This is the psychology behind, “Because I told the truth!”
3. The free editing process where he, himself, chooses his own words.
Then say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo,
If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully:
Or if thou think’st I am too quickly won,
I’ll frown and be perverse and say thee nay,
So thou wilt woo; but else, not for the world.
In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond,
And therefore thou mayst think my ‘havior light:
But trust me, gentleman, I’ll prove more true
Than those that have more cunning to be strange.
I should have been more strange, I must confess,
But that thou overheard’st, ere I was ware,
My true love’s passion: therefore pardon me,
And not impute this yielding to light love,
Which the dark night hath so discovered.
Is he listening?
Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear
That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops–
Romeo offers to swear, not by himself, as she sought, but by the moon. Yet it is that Juliet is aware of the science of the moon, moving from the romantic to the practical:
O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
It is said that the heart is so fickle that it is at its best when protected…
Recall her words: she didn’t want a ‘yes or no’; she did not want an oath, but would accept the oath if it was based upon himself, but it was not her preference: she wanted his own wording; the ‘free editing process’ that is the most reliable in analysis. This is where the person is, in less than a millisecond of time, choosing his words, increasing the reliability.
Do not swear at all;
Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,
Which is the god of my idolatry,
And I’ll believe thee.
She admits that her love is so acute that it is idolatrous and that she is open to deception because of it. Every human is ‘religious’ in nature. Simply ask the person,
“is it wrong for a person to slap the face of a stranger in public?” followed by,
“Tell me why this is wrong.”
As the subject speaks, he or she will bring you to the final place of arbitration of right from wrong, moral from immoral, ethical from unethical. Shakespeare brilliantly highlights human nature, in its weakness, strength, desire, hope, fear and suspicion.
Well, do not swear: although I joy in thee,
I have no joy of this contract to-night:
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be
Ere one can say ‘It lightens.’ Sweet, good night!
This bud of love, by summer’s ripening breath,
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.
Good night, good night! as sweet repose and rest
Come to thy heart as that within my breast!
Here she reasons within herself that not hearing him choose his own words, and his struggle, the reality of just how quickly all this has come to pass, void of wisdom. The great flame is before them, yet the coals are not white with heat, for that takes time, which is something she addresses repeatedly:
too rash
too unadvised
too sudden
too much like lightning, which appears powerful and bright, yet in a moment, it is gone and forgotten. At a moment, it appeared to light up everything, as if it were day, but it is just a moment.
This frustrates Romeo who wants an exchange before he leaves;
I gave thee mine before thou didst request it:
And yet I would it were to give again.
Note the element of timing: she gave it freely, before he requested it. This is the ultimate point of the free editing process in the reliable denial:
It is strong and the psychology behind it is like a wall. The innocent does not wait, does not toy with unreliable denials; but states it without waiting for the accusation, quite often, as soon as discerned. The weight of proof otherwise is almost of no consequence.
The guilty?
Why would I need to steal?
Why would I want to hurt that person?
Why would I do that?
The questions are often the probing of the guilty, to learn if the investigator knows the motive!
The fear of losing that which was freely offered is not sensible (reliable): Believe and trust the free editing process. Let the words guide you. In kindness, for the purpose of clarity (“frank”) she gives it to him again:
But to be frank, and give it thee again.
And yet I wish but for the thing I have:
My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.Nurse calls within
I hear some noise within; dear love, adieu!
Anon, good nurse! Sweet Montague, be true.
Stay but a little, I will come again.Exit, above
O blessed, blessed night! I am afeard.
Being in night, all this is but a dream,
Too flattering-sweet to be substantial.
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